


To Go On Living

by Longlivetheclones



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Angst, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-23 15:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15609621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Longlivetheclones/pseuds/Longlivetheclones
Summary: ARC Trooper Fives is not dead, but few know of his survival.  This is the story of what happened after his meeting with Rex and General Skywalker.  He is shot by Commander Fox, yes, but he is not dead.  This is the story of how the ARC Trooper survived the blaster shot to his chest.  He knows about the chip.  He was deemed too dangerous to be left alive.  So, how can he possibly survive?  Unexpected alliances, old friendships and Fives' uncanny skillset allow the displaced clone to start the basis for a new life in an unfamiliar environment.  A multi-chapter fic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I challenged myself to create a piece where Fives survives.

“Thanks, vod. I owe you one.”

It seemed an understatement, considering the circumstances.

“I warned you it would hurt.” Fox looked critically at the bruising mottling Fives’ chest, and then stared critically at the ARC trooper. “You going to be OK?”

Fives laughed and then stopped. The sound had a hysterical quality to it. He knew Fox was asking about more than his immediate injury.  
  
_Fox gave me a second chance. I should be dead._  
  
He deferred the question, having no answer for the moment. He looked around the compact med bay in confusion. “Where are we?"  
  
"Under the RMB.  It's a maze down here.  You're safe.  For now."  
  
Fives nodded, hearing the words between the words.  He needed to move on as soon as he could. "What happened?  Everything after you took that shot is a blur."  
  
Fox winced as if he was the one who'd taken the shot to the chest.  "Everything is so fekked up.  The Chancellor ordered your body brought back for an immediate autopsy."  Fives noticed Fox said the word ‘Chancellor’ like he’d eaten expired rations.

He rubbed at his head.  Still feeling wrong.  Off.  Nothing felt right at the moment.  
 _  
Play dead, brother. It’s the only way I can save you._ If Fox hadn’t intercepted him after he’d left 79’s and switched out his armor for one with titanium shielding, he never would have survived the direct blast. As it was, it still hurt like hell.

“The Jedi and the Chancellor’s Office are having an official ‘dispute’ about where the body should go,” Fox continued.

Fives had dealt with enough corpses during his career, but he still didn't like being referred to as a body.

He grabbed at his head again, and his vision began to blur.  Weird images swam in front of his mind, the events of the past few days swirling around like a nightmare.  He gasped.  

“Fives, look at me.”

Fives blinked rapidly.  “Fox,” he said slowly, the words coming out in long drawn out syllables.

“Med droid said you have a bad cocktail of drugs in your system."

Fives shook his head so vehemently he almost made himself vomit. He stopped and took deep breaths. “Na….la… Se.”

"Never liked the Kaminoans," he glanced down at his wrist as it comm came in demanding his attention.  "I have to go.  As soon as they finish fighting about jurisdiction, they'll want to start that autopsy."

Fives’ eyes widened. “How will you-”

"Already working on it," he gestured toward his wristcomm.  "The RMB has it's own morgue. We have all manner of prisoners here, Fives."

The unspoken words implied some prisoners in the Republic Military Base were clones.  And, some did not survive being locked up. At one time, Fives would have questioned it. But, that was before Umbara. And, he learned the true nature of the Kaminoans. And, the Chancellor.

He nodded. “I understand.”   He wished he didn’t.

"I'll help you," he said.  Not wanting to be alone.  But, if some brother was going to be a stand-in for Fives, he deserved to say his respects.  He could thank a brother for saving a life even after they were dead.  But, his body had other ideas.  As soon as he tried to rise up, the dizziness worsened.  He grabbed at his head again.

"Rest up, Fives.  I'll handle this alone.  You can't be seen."  He gestured toward Fives’ tattoo. “That needs to go.  I’ll send the med droid in.”  

Fives watched Fox leave, feeling the ravages of drugs still in his system.

Things were so fekked up.  But, he was still… Fives.  With or without the tattoo.  He would go on living.   
  
Fives fell asleep thinking of Tup and Echo and his other lost brothers. But, this time there were no nightmares. He would go on living. For them.

# # #


	2. Into the Depths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new life begins for Fives as he heads out on his own.

"I'm sorry I can't do more for you.  You going to be OK?"  Fox crossed his arms across his chest and studied Fives’ appearance critically.  His hair was growing back in. It covered his scalp enough the thin scar from the chip removal was no longer visible. He’d put a bit of weight back on, thanks to the med droid insisting he down nutritional shakes and supplements.

 “I’m alright, thanks to you,” Fives assured Fox.  “And, I'm ready to move on."  
   
"You look different without your tattoo," Fox said.  He nodded with satisfaction. "You'll blend in." He handed Fives a bundle of civvie clothes.  “We use these sometimes during undercover ops."

Fives studied the clothes.  They were respectable enough, without sticking.  They were also designed for blending in.  He stripped out of his medbay gown and into the civvies with rapid clone efficiency.   


“And, while your scar no longer shows, best to hide your appearance as much as possible,” Fox handed him a hat that shadowed much of his face.  One couldn’t easily tell what species Fives’ was, much less that he was a clone. 

"What's going on with this coat?" Fives asked, giving the item a good shake before sliding it on.  "It looks ordinary enough, but the weight is off somehow."

“Check the pockets," Fox said. "It's top-grade tactical gear. Tough enough to withstand a knife blade and some intensities of blaster fire.  I was going to use that one myself on an upcoming mission, but...” He shrugged. "Call it a re-allocation of resources."

Fives padded himself down and found he was packing a modified DL-44, plus a hold-out blaster, and two knives, one of which was the type favored by ARC troopers. He spun the blaster around, admiring the well-balanced hilt, before stashing it away again in the hidden folds of the coat.

He shot his brother a look of gratitude.  “Fox-”

Fox put up a hand, forestalling any thanks.  “Just stay alive, OK?”  


Fives continued to pad down his pockets, finding rations’ bars and in the top left pocket a key card.  It contained a street address for someplace in the Coruscant lower levels.  Fives shot his brother a questioning look,  but Fox didn't reveal any clues regarding the mysterious keycard.

 

The Coruscanti Guard commander led him out through the dark maze of passages underneath the RMB.  They walked for what seemed like hours with encountering anyone. Fives wasn’t sure how Fox found his way without the help of a mouse droid. They emerged out onto an abandoned side alley with only reflections of holo-ads for light bouncing off the walls.  Fives no longer had a chrono, or a communications device, but he could sense it was the middle of the night.

 

“After this, you never saw me.  I never saw you,” Fox said simply.  "You're on your own." He turned and disappeared back into the complex and the door softly slid back into place as if it had never opened.  Fives was alone.  
  
He stared around at the light and shadows.  It was more shadows than light.  He had no choice.  He moved on.  
  
 

# # #

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I posted this as a one chapter piece. But, the story wouldn't leave me alone.


	3. Ahsoka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two fugitives meet up in the Coruscant Underworld.

Ahsoka.  
  
The bounty hunters started coming after shortly after she fled to the Coruscant underworld. In the past four rotations, she’d disabled two bounty hunters and killed the third one. She regretted killing the bounty hunter. It left her depressed. OK, more depressed than she already was, which was saying a lot. But, she’d had no choice. This was the way her life was going these days. She wasn't even sure why she was still considered a prize to bounty hunters. Granted her holo-image has been plastered everywhere. But, the alerts were all supposed to be off now.

She’d hoped she could spend a few moments of quiet time and reflect on everything that happened. Maybe then she could figure out where to go from here. But, there had been no quiet moments. She had more peace and quiet on the battlefields. It was different in battle. She’d always had Rex and the rest of the 501st watching her back. Here she was alone.

“I’m asking you back…”

Anakin’s last words crept into her mind.

No!

She was no longer a Jedi. They had turned their backs on her when she needed them the most. She didn’t know who she was anymore.

Ahsoka retraced her steps back to the motel she’d rented for the night. She’d been moving ever night. It was doubtful she’d sleep much. She could barely remember where she was staying. It was blurring together. She was considering getting off Coruscant. The place was closing in on her.

Ahsoka’s stomach twisted and grumbled from lack of food. But, at the same time, she didn't want to eat. She’d barely eaten since…

...since my best friend Barriss framed me for murder in the name of revamping the Jedi Order.

The Force sent up a warning and Ahsoka whirled about, her hand on the long dagger she kept up her cloak. But, there was no one obviously following her. She ducked into a nearby alleyway.

She sighed. She was being paranoid. Even her Force senses were on the fritz now?

She turned to resume her path back to the motel. Back to another endless night.

Would the rest of her life be like this? Boring-

And, ran straight into the bounty hunter.

She bit back a small cry of surprise, cursing herself for being caught off-guard. She stomped on his foot, but this had little effect. He was wearing heavy boots. Military. Fek! She could still probably easily outrun him. She didn’t want to use the blade yet, and have another dead bounty hunter on her conscience. She elbowed him in the gut, hard, like the way Rex trained her to do it, and made a run for it.

“Commander, wait!” the voice was gasping, still recovering from the blow to the gut, but it was familiar.

She halted so quickly she almost fell. That voice. It was… a clone. And, not just any clone. It took her a long moment to turn around. Her mind trying to make the connection. It couldn’t be. She finally turned around to face the ‘bounty hunter’ again. He removed his head covering and the two studied one another.

Ahsoka reached her fingers up.

“Your tattoo is gone,” she said accusingly.  “How are you here?  You’re supposed to be-”

He put his finger to his lips, and then touched his ears. It was an old 501st signal meaning there could be listening devices anywhere.

Ahsoka nodded.

He gave her a hand signal to move out.  
  
Ahsoka didn't have reason to trust clones anymore.  Not after they'd pursued her and tried to kill her.    
  
But, she trusted Fives.  She followed him.  
  
# # #

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Fugitive" arc with Fives takes place in Season 6. "To Catch a Jedi" with Ahsoka takes place in Season 5. So, would these two episode arcs match up so that these two would be in Coruscant at the same time? I don't know. Both events seem to take place roughly toward that time when the Clone Wars is rapidly spiraling to a close. All we know about what happens to Ahsoka after she leaves the order is what appears in the novel "Ahsoka," which I read, and the little bit which appears on Wookipedia. There's bits and pieces on there about a story arc, (which was never fully developed by Filoni before the series cancellation), about Ahsoka heading down into Level 1313 and being a champion of the underdogs. So, I'm taking a leap of faith here and saying it could work in a timeline.


	4. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two old friends find each other again. But, what has Fives been up to since Ahsoka has seen him last? It seems she has more questions than answers. The mystery deepens.

They didn’t speak as they walked together. But, it was still the best sense of companionship Ahsoka had felt since her life had dissolved into anarchy. She’d been constantly on edge. And, with Fives looming beside her, she had someone to watch her back. For now, she didn’t need to know where he’d been. Or, why he wasn’t dead. The Force told her all she needed to know.

Trust him.

She'd spent years around Fives. Felt like she grew up around him. It was how she could recognize him in the dark without his tattoo.

He gestured toward a transport and they boarded, staying silent as they rode. Ahsoka reached up for the overhead grip and the action reminded her of being back onboard a LAAT. Exhaustion made her eyes slide close of their own accord. She allowed them to stay closed for just the briefest of seconds. As the transport swayed with movement, she imagined life was back to normal. Instead of being in the undercity among so many unknowns, she was jostling elbow-to-elbow with the armored blue clones of the 501st. She took a bracing breath and forced herself back to reality. 

Fives was studying her with an inscrutable expression on his face. She studied him in return. He’d aged. He was younger than Rex, but something had hardened him causing him to look older. There was a tightness to his face and a coldness to his eyes. 

Fives looked away as the transport rose. Ahsoka had been sticking to the cheaper levels, trying to stretch her funds as far as possible. The holo-ads thinned out and became less obtrusive. The communities were more planned and orderly. Fives signaled to depart at the next station and led the way to an enormous skyrise apartment. He produced a keycard from somewhere in the depths of his long coat and used it to enter the building. They took a lift to a mid-rise apartment. Ahsoka took it all in curiously. She’d been staying in terrible accommodations since leaving the Temple. The cleanliness of this building took her by surprise. Fives’ made a grand sweep of his arm and gestured Ahsoka into a modest-sized apartment with simple furnishings. All in all, it was a very nice place. She had many questions.

He signaled for silence while he carefully checked the residence for listening devices. Ahsoka joined him as they carefully scanned the entire place. She’d been trained by the best to do such sweeps, and it gave her a reason to go through the place. It was a one-bedroom apartment, impeccably neat, and it all smelled faintly like Fives.

“Clear,” he said with satisfaction.

“Clear,” she echoed, straightening out from where she’d been crawling under a table looking for any listening devices. She stood in front of Fives and studied him carefully. He stood stock still, almost as if at-attention, and allowed her scrutiny. She reached up and traced the lines of his face, and then smiled.

He looked at her and then cocked his head to the side in puzzlement. She noticed he didn’t smile. When she first met Fives, he smiled so easily. She gave a regretful sigh for how much the war had taken from all of them. He frowned even more. “What?”

“Your appearance has changed,” she said. “But, you are still Fives.” The light from outside the window caught in his short hair and she could see the faintest outline of a scar. “This is new.” She reached her fingers up to touch the scar, but he jerked away from her touch and wouldn’t allow her to examine it any further. “Fives, what is it?”

He shook his head, refusing to talk about it. He immediately switched topics. “Did you eat?” He stood back and looked at her critically. “You were always a little thing, but…” He crossed his arms across his chest. “Rex wouldn’t approve at all if he could see-” He stopped himself as if the mention of his 501st mentor was too much for him. He crossed over to the compact kitchen unit. “I’ll make food.”

Ahsoka sat down at one of the stools at the eat-in kitchen area. She and watched as Fives bustled around the kitchen. She wasn’t surprised he could cook. He always had been full of surprises. He pulled a steak out of the refrigeration unit and tossed it into a pan with a handful of spices. As it quickly cooked up, her stomach started rumbling again. But, instead of with nausea, this time she wanted to eat.

The corner of Fives’ lips quirked with amusement. He reached above him into a cabinet and pulled out a nutrient bar. She recognized it instantly. It was one of the types highly prized by clones for both its sweetness and high protein content. It also had a dusting of caf and coating of chokolate. Clones would trade up different rations to get more of these bars. “Eat this while you wait, Commander. Wouldn’t want you passing out on me.”

Ahsoka easily caught the offering. “Thank you. And, please call me, Ashoka. I don’t command anything anymore.”

Fives studied her. “You had a tough time of it, too.” It was a statement, not a question.

Ahsoka sighed. They were two refugees who had somehow found each other in the underbelly of Coruscant. “How did you find me?”

Fives shook his head. “We’ll eat. And, then we’ll talk.”

He turned his attention back to cooking and would say no more.

Ahsoka broke the bar in half and slid a piece over to Fives to eat as he cooked. She nudged it over to him. “I always shared my rations.”

He gave her a stern look but didn’t refuse the offering. He chewed the bar slowly and then said: “I meant we would talk after I finished cooking-”

Ahsoka burst out laughing. Her outburst caught Fives by surprise.

“Sorry,” she said. Shaking her head. “I’m overtired. Ignore me.”

He shook his head. But, there was a slight quirk to his lips. Almost a hint of a smile. Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this story simply won't let me go.


	5. Crossroads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fives' and Ahsoka share a meal and their experiences of what happened since they were last together.

The protein bar took the edge off Ahsoka’s hunger. But, her mouth still watered as Fives fried up the steak with a simple blend of spices. She tore into her steak like she’d never eaten before. Fives could cook. Why was she surprised? He always seemed to master everything he tackled. She finished her food so quickly his lips twitched with amusement and he pushed the rest of his plate toward her.

“No,” she objected.

"I've not been this amused in a long time," Fives said, and Ahsoka finally accepted the offering. 

She quickly finished off his food, too. “Thank you,” she said, gratefully, once they’d eaten.

He nodded, and they loaded the dishes together into a compact dish sanitizer. It was a one-person task, but Ahsoka insisted on helping.

Fives prepared caf and they sat back down at the table to talk. He wrapped his hand around his mug. “Do you want to go first?” he offered.

“Me?” Ahsoka said surprised. “You know what happened. I was betrayed and left the Jedi Order.” She was surprised at how much bitterness there was still in her voice. She thought she could tell her story without emotion. She was wrong.

Fives shook his head. “Start from the beginning. Rex told me as much as he could. But, I want to hear it from you.”

Again, there was the slightest catch when he said Rex. Ahsoka made a mental note to bring it up with Fives. But, it would have to wait until later. 

Ahsoka started in on everything that happened with the bombing at the Jedi Temple. She wanted to tell Fives an abridged version of the events, since he already knew much of this already. But, somehow she needed to get everything out. So, she told him everything. Fives was an excellent listener. She was crying by the time she through telling him about walking away from Anakin.

Fives’ larger hand captured her own, and gave it a comforting squeeze. “Do you think you did the right thing?” he asked. He released her hand before it became awkward.

“Yes!” she said vehemently. “They left me no choice.” She took a long swig of her caf, which had gone cold, and set her mug down so forcefully some of the liquid sloshed down onto her hand. She took a huge gulping breath. “But… I…. “ She blew out a long breath. “but….I miss them, especially Anakin. I worry about him being on his own. So, no, I sometimes wonder if I did make the right choice. And, I miss the 501st, especially Rex.” She looked at Fives. “I don’t know. Did I make a mistake?”

“You made the only call you could at that moment,” Fives said firmly. “It’s all we can ever do. Live with our choices. And move on.”

Ahsoka drank the rest of her caf and let his words settle in. “Thank you.” After a long beat, she asked: “Fives, what happened to you?”

The former ARC stood up from the table and walked away to the windows facing out into the Coruscant night. He took a deep bracing breath. Ahsoka rose and stood next to him. She didn’t push but hoped her presence might bring some comfort to him as his presence did for her. After several long moments, he finally began to speak. 

“Something happened to Tup during the Battle of Ringo Vinda. In retrospect, I think it might be my fault. He wasn’t feeling good and I told him to pull himself together. But, he didn’t get better. He had the right of it about not feeling good and giving us a heads-up. Because a few minutes later, he intentionally shot General Tiplar at close-range…”

# # #

**Author's Note:**

> I've always seen Commander Fox as a complex character. As head of the Coruscant Guard, he must always balance the orders handed down by the powers-that-be and loyalty to his brothers. I've always loved the way the clones were portrayed in the early years of the series where there was a strong emphasis on the bond between the brothers.


End file.
